I have a secret fondness for Yom Kippur. You probably won’t find me in synagogue but there is seldom a year that passes that I don’t reflect on my relationship to myself, loved ones, and spirit.

This year, I’ve been particularly aware of the ways I’ve disappointed or broken promises to myself and failed to break out of patterns that I know are unhelpful. To wit, I’ve been putting excessive pressure on myself which ends up in a spiral of isolation, overwhelm, and exhaustion. For not very glamorous reasons, I have underemphasized and undervalued the work required to attend to my mind.

I let this slip because it’s a habit–a really bad, really familiar habit that fills time in an unsatisfactory and completely predictable way. It’s easier to fill my mental space with old scripts than to sit in the discomfort of the unknown.

Until three weeks ago, this habit was competing against tasks that were routine. When I unexpectedly got the download of what I wanted to accomplish in the next 3-5 years, that suddenly changed. The familiar script started robbing me of the energy I need to build the practice and write the book I want to write.

When the mind obfuscates its clarity, we fly in the face of the great mystery. For me, contrition was required and so was a change in behavior. To that end, I didn’t blow off this week's letter. When I spiraled, I caught it and worked the problem. When I couldn't, I exercised and breathed.

To the best of my abilities, I ATONED to self and spirit and ATTUNED to the energies of growth and flow.

I am hopeful.

Happy new year metaphorically and metaphysically. I wish us all a fulfilling year.