RIP Zoe Parmesan, June 6 2012-March 20, 2025
Dear Friends,
It is with a heavy heart that I share the news of Zoe’s transition to the great beyond.
Zoe entered my life in May of 2024. She was a surprise addition to the Tenth House household and required quite a bit of support. She arrived emaciated and deconditioned, her coat thin with bald patches and open wounds. She did not know how to eat out of a bowl, how to walk on a leash, how to obey basic commands, how to ask to go out, or how to receive love.
The distressing state of her condition combined with her age put her at risk of being mistreated or prematurely put down. I could not bear the thought of letting this sweet soul who had served so bravely to end her life without redemption.
There were many tough days in the beginning. Zoe was so traumatized that she would leap up every time I got near her. I will never forget our first craniosacral therapy session. I held her head as she shook and yelped as shock rose in waves from her system. It took many weeks before her nerves settled down.
During those first few months, Zoe had a lot of helpers. LB was primary and supreme. He showed her what asking for meals looked like and entered her into our rowdy morning routine. Zoe had a very hard time adapting to basic things like eating out of a bowl but once I learned to sprinkle Parmesan on it, she relished big bowls of meat stews slow cooked in the Instant Pot.
Tom her trainer was her first special friend in Athens. He helped me to recognize her intelligence and learn how to listen to it. She absorbed all that he had to teach defying the age old and false adage about new tricks. Tom was a heart connection for Zoe and showed me the breadth of her love.
Dr. Elaine Tucker at Roundtop Animal Hospital helped me understand what healthfulness could look like in a 12 year old dog. She grounded me in the reality that “new to me” did not mean “puppy.” Without that powerful guidance, I would not have been able to advocate for Zoe in her most urgent hour of need.
I also found the Doodle Pro—a podcast devoted to Doodles and the humans who love them. I learned that Doodles are the most sensitive dog breed and can be easily emotionally harmed. Treats and play became our jam and helped develop a deep bond. The podcast taught me about how to care for her coat, her paws, and her happiness. Zoe had fancy brushes and combs, hair product, a dremel tool, and grooming with the wonderful Sarah Xedis at Catskill Mountain Groomery.
Marcia and Jim Kelly were instrumental in guiding my parenting and supporting Zoe. They treated her to long walks, cozy beds, and play. They were true friends to her and cared for her every other weekend for the entirety of her Hudson Valley life so that I could continue to work. Marcia and Jim taught Zoe how to trust more widely. This was a crucial skill for her. Her heart was always so full of love.
Eventually, Zoe was able to integrate into studio life. You were all so kind to her.
Meditation night was her favorite. She loved her neck rubs from Jessica, Ginny’s curl-girl bonding, Melissa’s gentleness, and Alice’s calm. Zoe and LB would curl up in their respective sleeping spots around the wood stove spreading their somnolent version of peace.
And finally, there was Bakhu—the Siberian Husky that captured her heart. The romance was complicated and real. My heart soars when I remember her last healthy morning, romping and playing with her beloved friend off leash.
During an online session Zoe collapsed on her rug trying to reach me. Something was terribly wrong. I rushed her to Elaine and she gave me as much information as she could to support her final journey. I set Zoe up in the living room in her large bed with every possible supply she would need and did not leave her side.
When things began to look really serious, Zoe and I had a conversation. I explained/visualized that I would do whatever it took and whatever she needed. If she wanted to stay with me whatever her impairments would be, I would do it. If she wanted to go, I would help her do that, too. She stopped eating and drinking, wanting only love and deep eye gazes. LB came and laid near her for the longest time, and I slept first in front of her and then spooned her for several nights. She pulled my hand to her heart with her paw.
At that point, I began to treat her system, no longer to heal but to soothe. I wanted to offer a portal for her to release fear and to receive all the love in my heart and the hearts of her friends. Those days of holding her, talking to her, sleeping with her were some of the most precious days of my life.
Midday on the first day of spring, she was able to express her love one final time and peacefully soar over the rainbow.
I will never forget her and I will never forget all of you who made her life so rich and rewarding. I do not know if I will do anything formal for Zoe. As it happens, Tracey and Traci of Pilot House Paper are hosting Paint and Sip, a fundraiser on March 30 to benefit Upstate Paws. If you would like to do something to honor Zoe, donating to the cause would be wonderful. Attending the event is doubly wonderful and not required.
With folded palms,